Time Out!

I want to apologize for not posting in a long time, but I assure you I have a good reason.

I am not in NYC right now; I'm "on" Long Island. 

Long Island is a lot like New York City except not as interesting, colder, and whiter. 

Next time I go to the city I'm sure it'll inspire me for more posts.

Until then...

Reason 10

On East Broadway, there were a group of kids walking down the street. There were about 14 years old, and still had their backpacks on. They passed a line of cars with snow covering them, and decided to leave a message for the driver of this station wagon. "WAT U KNOW BOW ME"

Well, that makes sense. 

Reason 9

The buses around my apartment got messed up because Warner Brothers decided that a neighborhood full of 90 year old Eastern European immigrants and people who only speak Mandarin would be the perfect place to film GOSSIP GIRLS!!! I wasn't too pissed, though, because they actually took a shot of me as I walked down the street in about 40 layers (see earlier post about the cold). I'm famous in case you forgot.

Reason 8

I don't know quite how to explain this reason... I'll just explain my last subway ride.

I was traveling from the Bryant Park Station, heading downtown. I'm wedged between two Hispanic girls (I'm not profiling. They spoke Spanish.) around the age of 13. They enjoyed cursing.

First a man walked by with a dirty cup and shoves it in our faces. I didn't know what he was doing. Is he trying to kill me? No, silly. This is New York. He just wants my money. Then he said something inaudible. I just ignored him. When people sing neat songs or give a sad speech in the subway I am much more likely to give money (for future reference). 

The girls continued to curse and I pretended like I couldn't hear them. I turned my iPod up. 

Then a man darts through the train yelling something. I turned my iPod down just in time.

"Everyone thinks this isn't affecting them! You better start taking this stuff personally! 'Cause when it happens to you, you will talk it personally! 240,000 people are getting laid off this month, people. 240,000! Wake up and smell the coffee!"

The tween on my right said "I smell the hot chocolate. Fuck! Haha" and then took a sip of her hot chocolate

The tween on my left (a little older than the first, maybe 14 1/2 years old) "I already got laid off so shut the fuck up nigga!" 

I turned my iPod back up. 

Why is everyone here so strange and angry here...

Reason 7

It's cold.

Is this New York's fault? Obviously not. 

It is the fault of the New Yorkers?  Though they tend to be cold-hearted, I am going to go with no.

(I'm so funny.)

But seriously it is really cold. And I know this isn't unique to New York, so I also couldn't live in Montreal or Chicago or anything...

It is really cold right now. I didn't know it was possible to be that cold. You know how when you turn the hot water on instead of the cold water, and for the first second you touch it, it actually feels cold? Apparently the opposite of that exists too. Because my face felt as though it were burning today. 

Right now it is sixteen degrees. Sixteen. www.weather.com says it feels like 5. I think it feels like about 50 below zero, but I'm not technically a meteorologist...

Tomorrow morning it's gonna feel like it's in the negatives. And the high is fourteen. Really. Fourteen.  Gosh. 

Reason 6

The Subways are very convenient and wonderful.  I used to be a big fan of "my F train" until I rode the L train, which has electronic signs announcing the next train and seats that almost sparkle in cleanliness. But yesterday in particular I noticed something. Our subway stations are disgusting. Compared to the others I have seen (notably Washington D.C.), ours are the grossest. But, I must admit, I am not willing to pay $3 a ride instead of $2 a ride to make them cleaner. And I think most New Yorkers agree with me. So, disgusting rat-infested subway stations, here I come!!!

*This is a picture of my friend the rat who I met in the Union Square Station. BFF!

Reason 5

Protestors. I have never seen anyone in New York City protesting something legitimate. I have seen people protesting the fact that they can’t legally marry their pet lizard, waving signs that say President Bush is bisexual, etc etc. Currently, the streets of Manhattan are dotted with white college kids protesting the IDF’s actions in Gaza. IDF stands for Israeli DEFENSE Forces and that is what they do--defend. After years and thousands of unprovoked bombs flying into Southern Israel, the Israeli government started doing what any other country in the world would have done a few years before—they fought back. Gd forbid these people defend themselves!!! So today I saw some more stupid protestors, and yes I know this is currently happening all over the world…but no place has as many protestors as New York City.

Reason 4

Movie theaters cost way too much. You can buy almost any movie for $9.99 (or steal it from www.watch-movies.net, but you didn’t hear that from me), but the theater I went to today in Chelsea charged $12.50 per adult. This is not unusual. New York movie theaters charge amazingly high prices because they can. The line was still out to the street and this was a matinee. Imagine taking a family of 4 to a movie theater. It would be $50!

Reason 3

On F train. The D train wasn't running between 34th and 4th, so the train was unusually crowded. Young, healthy men in Gucci jeans lounged on the chairs while elderly women stood. I think of the three things I saw tonight that was the one that annoyed me the most. I certainly am not asking people to say ma’am and sir (I personally usually don’t), but I always thought it was common courtesy to give up seats! The order of priority goes something like this: handicapped, elderly, people with babies, women, men. You should never see a sixteen-year-old healthy guy sitting down on a subway if a single woman is standing.

Reason 2

Small group of men across the street [from man in reason 1]. With elaborate poster claiming that they are a lost tribe of Israel. Marching around in dresses surrounded by crowd, including tourists with video cameras. They yelled something about Jesus to me. I put my iPod on and walked really fast.

Reason 1

Man on corner of 7th and 33rd. Very smelly. Holding cardboard sign that says "need money for beer so that i can get drunk and get molested by two women..." (i stopped reading the sign-- a little too late, i need not add.)

Disclaimer

This was originally created as a journal for myself, but after positive feedback from a few friends I decided to publicize it.  This was a note to myself:

Tonight was fairly typical for me, and the sights outside off Penn Station as I headed for the Subway were nothing new. Lately, though I have been rethinking my former life goal of buying an apartment in Chelsea -- after winning a fortune by taking over the world. New York can be a wonderful place, but I no longer think it is for me. I decided to write down the reasons, so that one day when I am living in a relatively small Southern city (i.e. Memphis? Atlanta?)and complaining about the lack of public transportation, I will have this to look back on.

I live in New York right now. I know that most people in the world envy me and that people all over dream of one day living where I do--in Manhattan. I often say it is both the best city in the world and the worst city in the world. You can certainly find everything you need here, and you can also find anything you don't need.  I am not really trying to bash NYC, nor am I trying to say that it's a horrible place. This is just..meant to be...uhh...informative...and...humorous. 

If you disagree feel free to comment but if you get too offended just get off the blog. Nobody is making you read it.